A Whole New World: Disney Classics through Adult Eyes

With the release of Disney+ in recent times, I was immediately transported back to the 90s. I grew up in the golden era of many beloved movies – a period known as the Disney Renaissance. This is the decade where Disney revitalized their shaky children’s film brand (after a huge slump in the 80s, which is worth researching) and released all the classics that my generation loves.

I didn’t take full advantage of the streaming service until the beginning of the initial quarantine times. It was a glorious silver lining of the pandemic to re-watch all of these old school gems.

Now, I’m not just talking The Lion King and Aladdin, arguably the top two contenders. I went into the archives and began watching everything, even The Three Caballeros – not a must-see, but I was doing a deep dive into history.

And wow. We’ve all heard over the years about all the hidden, raunchy innuendos and flat out problematic material dropped in these movies, but hearing/seeing it as an adult, it’s a mix of comical, eye-opening and mystifying.

There is also a lot more violence than I remember. Snow White straight up almost gets shanked by The Huntsman before escaping into the forest. But the biggest thing to comment on is how most of the premises are completely ludicrous. These are children movies of course, but this is extreme.

All these movies have such questionable undertones and plot points that just make you think ‘…What?’

Parental Dysfunction

Whether it was a parent that was viciously killed, a stepmother with seedy intentions or a king that ruled with an iron fist (or trident in one case), there were some peculiar parental themes.

Probably the most discussed and noticeable of the themes in a majority of the movies is a dead parent or two. From the unforgettable murders of Mufasa and Bambi’s mom to protagonists just being orphaned from the jump like Cinderella and Aladdin, the lack of guidance pushes certain narratives.

The Lion King might be the only one that does it right though. Mufasa is famously trampled to death by the stampede as a result of Scar, the embodiment of sibling rivalry gone terribly off the rails. My brother and I have a rocky relationship, but damn – there are levels to this thing.

Simba then goes through a fairly realistic period of grief where he mourns his father’s death and tries to figure out his place in the circle of life (love that song). For a movie about the animal kingdom, it does an amazing job at depicting loss and redemption.

The death of Bambi’s mother, while also classic, leaves something to be desired in retrospect. She gets shot, Bambi cries for about five seconds, his father takes him off and in the next scene, he, Thumper and Flower are lusting their prospective mates. One season or three months later and Bambi is over his mom’s death and ready to have sex. Seems reasonable.

In other movies though, the dead parents – usually mothers because we need these teenage girls to be fucked up in the head – are essentially inferred, but barely discussed. Most of the fathers are barely, if at all, around or don’t offer much guidance and the maternal nurturing is nonexistent, particularly with nasty stepparents.

Lady Tremaine, the manipulative stepmother from Cinderella, does everything in her power to keep the titular character in the dark. From having her dress ripped up to straight up locking her away in the attic, this woman is RUTHLESS. She even maneuvers it so that the glass slipper breaks – and at what cost? If she’d been nice to little Cindy, she could’ve been living luxuriously in the castle too. That is a great case of not playing your hand well.

King Triton has good intentions, but he too is the epitome of tough love pushing children to do the exact opposite – and usually for the much worse. Thinking father knows best, he destroys her grotto full of ‘thingamabobs’ and ‘dinglehoppers’. This act shoves Ariel right into making what may be akin to the wildest loan shark scenario decision with Ursula. Your voice for legs? Whew – ain’t no man that good, red. Eventually King Triton comes around, but if only he knew the trickle effects.

Reasonable Insanity

Maybe I’m also on the verge of evildoing, but I think many of these ‘villains’ had good reason to be pissed off and act completely unhinged.

Take Scar, for example. He’s probably the easiest one to identify and empathize with. He was next in line for the throne after Mufasa and then comes along Simba, who’s so naively obnoxious and proud about his impending crown (He just can’t wait to be king – The Lion King was stacked with bops). Killing your brother and framing your nephew is kind of wild. I get his point though – family is rough sometimes.

Hades from Hercules shares a similar vein. He is delegated the delight of commandeering the Underworld, just seeing dead people all millennia long in a dark pit beneath the earth. Hercules steals his last chance and ounce of hope of getting anywhere near Mount Olympus. Again, trying to murder a baby is hard to reconcile, but… getting the short end of the stick in inheritances can cause irrational behavior.

A very underrated motivation is that of Captain Hook from Peter Pan. I didn’t remember until I watched the movie, but Peter Pan cut his hand off! What?! Whatever the circumstances, if someone was the cause of my missing hand, I might want revenge too. Peter Pan and the Neverland Boys are harassing him the whole movie too. He wanted to teach these kids a lesson. Trying to blow up their hideout was excessive… but they found out.

Finally, a small nod to The Evil Queen from Snow White (real name Queen Grimhilde – who knew?). She hated Snow White purely because she was the fairest in the land – according to a mirror; so from the jump, petty and dramatic. Haven’t we all been susceptible to some deranged jealousy at times? I’m just saying. In these Instagram-filled days, this one rings very relevant.

Unhealthy Love Languages

A majority of the princesses had very baffling ideas of what a healthy relationship should look like. I know things were different in the 1400s, but these tales were bonkers.

I don’t want to betray my fellow redheads, but Ariel is the worst offender. She never met Prince Eric, talked to him or had any real information that would lead her to believe he was a solid partner. She was probably fed up of hearing Sebastian give her orders and Flounder bitching and moaning that anyone would’ve looked like a golden opportunity. As aforementioned, her voice though?! How is this man going to learn anything about you? If anything, The Little Mermaid teaches us about sheer lust and vanity.

Then, Snow White. I mean, fine, the guy awoke you from a slumber and therefore, you felt like your flirtatious vibes had to be something more. But what a creep, huh? I’d be a little more concerned about the fact that The Prince (he didn’t need a name in 1937) was a borderline necrophiliac kissing a dead girl over riding off into the sunset.

There are some similar vibes in Sleeping Beauty, but Aurora actually knew Prince Phillip a little bit. Still, sexual assault auras present. She was going to die though so – fair enough.

Belle fell in love with a straight up animal – Bestiality 101. Again, there was a curse and he turned out to be a handsome prince and the whole spiel, but come on. Wasn’t she supposed to extremely well-read? How lonely was this girl? Gaston might’ve been an asshole, but he wasn’t a straight up beast. He did have a great castle, complete with servants though – a lot of gold-digger themes I’m sensing. Yeah, try to play that ‘true love’ card somewhere else.

Their overly optimistic – and that’s a euphemism – approaches and longing for the fairytale ending could be construed as a desperate codependency on another to fill a gap that was left from the lack of parental love and assurance. Did they all wind up happily ever after? Sure, but we don’t know what those relationships were like after midnight (Get it?)

And those are just some of the main contentious concepts in these movies. I can’t even begin to touch on the racial offenses, but at least the last decade they’ve been trying to turn the page on that and show more representation and equality.

Also, someone call PETA because these princes and princesses were using these animals in every way and then shoved them off into the bushes when their prospective lover showed up. The animal sidekicks were always seen as a source of comic relief and cute additions, but wow, they got the shaft sometimes.

But I digress! Digging into the past and having endless nostalgia via Disney+ has been a real magic carpet ride through the hallucinogenic-filled wonderland that is these classic movies. They are still quality films in many regards, but apparently social norms are definitely different under the sea. That was terrible, but I stand by it.

When the Lights Go Down: The Wonder of an AMC Stubs Membership

A moment of racial profiling that turns into a movement. Strippers who turn the tables on their sleazy patrons. Fighting off audio-sensitive creatures that have overtaken society. The quest to get Infinity stones and restore humanity. An adventure on a cruise through the jungle.

Those five things have almost nothing in common, except for the fact that they are the plots of some hit movies that have come out in recent times. There is so much more to be found inside a movie theater that goes beyond a box of Sno-Caps. Yeah, Sno-Caps – don’t judge me.

Growing up, I went to the movies ad nauseam and saw all the classics from Jurassic Park to Scream to Shrek and the list goes on. With time and shifting priorities though, seeing movies became less frequent and truth be told, less desirable.

From the unreasonable price of food and drinks (I would never condone sneaking in candy and not giving $5 to the establishment for a bag of Sour Patch Kids when you can get them at ShopRite for $1, but… yeah) to the ever-increasing cost of a ticket to crowded theaters complete with loud children to a whole other slew of petty grievances, going to the cinema can be a journey in itself.

I had still seen movies in years gone by, but it wasn’t a highly anticipated activity like it was in my younger years. That all changed one afternoon though in the fall of 2019 when I went to the AMC in the Garden State Plaza.

Aside from that theater in particular being grand and welcoming, we settled in for a viewing of Hustlers (J.Lo on the pole was enough of a sell and I’m gay) and learned of something called AMC Stubs.

With an AMC Stubs A-List membership, you can in theory see 12 movies – or 3 movies a week – for about $25 a month with so many other perks. Now, I don’t know who’s got the time or craving to be in a movie theater that much, but if you go even twice a month, with prices the way they currently are, you are getting your money’s worth and then some.

During the earlier days of COVID, HBO Max and Disney+ really took center stage as the prime destinations to stream all sorts of content.

HBO Max in particular became the new movie theater as it released a large majority of blockbuster movies side by side with actual theaters on the same day. Disney+ charged a solid $30 to see a movie the same day as release, but for many people, these subscriptions and ‘small’ fees were worth it.

To enjoy a movie from the comfort of your home on a cozy couch with your own snacks and surround system was desirable before, during and will be for many after COVID. Why go anywhere when you have your own theater?

I get the appeal and would be lying if I said I didn’t agree on a case-by-case basis. However, what’s better than watching an Avengers movie or another grand scale adventure on a huge screen with a barrel of buttery popcorn and refreshing fountain soda?

Becoming reacquainted with the movie theater experience and really reveling in seeing films on a more frequent basis has become a renewed hobby from the past to present. Life can be full circle in odd ways.

‘We make movies better’ is the new tagline from the advertisement with Nicole Kidman strolling along the corridors of a movie theater and gazing with wonder into the silver screen.

Kudos to the marketing team at AMC because who better than to emote about the range of sensations felt in watching movies than someone like Nicole Kidman who has played such a variety of intense characters – Eyes Wide Shut, Moulin Rouge, Big Little Lies, Nine Perfect Strangers etc.

How true it is though the respite a trip to the movies can provide. No matter what hand life is dealing you, settling into your seat (Dolby Cinema recliners ftw) is a truly cathartic experience where, for two hours, you’re in another world, becoming enmeshed in the landscape of a different reality.

There are so many themes that we can understand, relate to and learn from.

Judas and the Black Messiah opened eyes to more of the history and inside world of the Black Panther Party and their bold ambition to get their true equality. It was powerful in teaching me about the dynamics and rationales of other people that I had very little idea about otherwise.

Queen & Slim was a more present-day, relevant look at how two people could be so aware of prejudices in the country that they’d rather run from the scene of a crime than deal with police and probable consequences.

Promising Young Woman was an off-beat and dark, but interesting take on revenge and redemption. Lives that were both ruined and stunted by one terrible night were given a second chance by random encounters. While the movie itself could be considered extreme, the principles were something many can relate to.

A Quiet Place: Parts 1 & 2 provided a look at family dysfunction and unity under some of the most unreal, terrifying circumstances. To have to navigate your familial relations in a ‘regular’ environment can already be challenging, but throw in a fight for daily survival, it takes on new meaning.

More recently, Black Widow and Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings were A – satisfying, action-packed movie fun and B – different, but similar looks at revisiting the past, childhood trauma and coming to terms with your purpose and who you really are in this world.

Sure, seeing a movie can be thought of as such a run-of-the-mill, simple, everyday activity – and it is to some degree. But from another perspective, great movies can leave a lasting impact on us or change the way we view life. Just think about some of your favorites or ones that have particularly stuck with you.

For example, Knives Out made me realize that even though my family is insane, we are not murdering each other for the inheritance. We don’t have millions to inherit, but that’s really beside the point.

There is such a diverse mix of thought-provoking and entertaining content to be found inside the walls of your local movie theater that can enrich our soul. They don’t call it movie magic for nothing. That was corny, but that’s showbiz, baby. Fine, enough. Go see a movie though!